One Year Ago Today...

One year ago today we went to the doctor and were sent to the hospital to deliver our babies.

It was scary and exciting and amazing and one of the most important days of our entire lives. 

I think back to the delivery and how I cried the happiest tears of my life when I heard each one of them cry.

I think back to how Ainsley was on the CPAP oxygen and how we couldn't hold her the first couple days of her life.  That gets me more now than it did then...not sure why.

I think of all the days we were in the NICU and how we wanted to take our babies home so badly.

I think of what I still consider the worst day of my life, when we learned Ben had a stroke.  

And I think of how far we've come in 12 short months.  I think of the amazing gifts God has given us.  I think of how amazingly blessed we are.  And I never, ever want to take it for granted.  Not for one second.  

Happy 1st Birthday, Ben and Ainsley!  We love you more than words.

One Month

Benson and Ainsley are one month old!

Alright, they are actually one month and two days old. We wanted to wait and take their one month pictures at home once we knew Ben was coming home. I didn't get it done before the sun went down so the lighting isn't the greatest. We'll try to do better next month!

It is so entertaining to put these two on a blanket together and watch them. I could literally watch it for hours.

Ainsley: You wear newborn diapers and newborn clothes. They fit you well for the most part but are a little long because you are sort of short and some things are hard to get over your big head! You eat every three hours now with your brother but you could go four easily. You don't get too excited about much. You don't even cry much when you are hungry and you don't mind having your diaper changed or taking a bath. You are VERY easy going.

Benson: You wear newborn diapers and newborn clothes. You eat every three hours and you let us know when it's time! When you wake up and want to eat you want to eat NOW. You are a little more fussy than your sister but usually stop as soon as someone picks you up - little stinker! I hate to say it but you are a little more high maintenance than she is and you cry when you have your diaper changed, your clothes changed and when you have a bath.

I hope to include weights later this week when we go to the doctor for Ben's first check up.

Friday, November 11th

Unfortunately, we are not at home. This post is coming to you from the hospital. We were SURE we were busting out of here today but Benson had other ideas. He had been eating GREAT all day and all of our discharge paperwork was in order. Everyone who needed to see us before we left had come by. Then about 9:30 last night Ben decided he didn't really want to eat. Jeremy changed his diaper and there was blood in his stool. Sounding familiar? He would start to cry after every few drinks of milk that he took. They did an abdominal x-ray and he had dilated bowel loops. This can be caused by lots of things but it basically causes a tummy ache. They had to make him NPO which means he can't have anything to eat. They started an IV and drew blood for several different tests. They swabbed his nose for RSV. At this point all of his tests are coming back normal. The most likely cause of his bowel trouble? Cow's milk protein sensitivity. He is now on Alimentum formula just like Ainsley had to have with her bloody stools. Like her, he can also transition back to breast milk fortified with Alimentum eventually. Luckily we only have to use one teaspoon per 90ml of breast milk since this stuff is $27.99 for a small can!

So he is now off of IV fluids and is eating ad lib on demand again. He has eaten three times since this ordeal and hasn't been taking as much as he really needs to but we are hoping he will get back there soon so he doesn't have to have a feeding tube put back in. I'm hoping he's just a little tired since it was a pretty rough night last night - for him AND for mom and dad.

At this point we do not have any idea when he will be going home. He has another x-ray tomorrow morning so we are hoping for good results on that. If it is good and he gets back where he needs to be with eating I am hoping he'll still get to go home in the next couple days.

P.S. - The twins are ONE MONTH OLD TODAY! Jeremy and I will be doing a little one month photo shoot tomorrow!

Thursday, November 10th

It's been a few days since I blogged - it has been a little hectic with one baby at home and one in the NICU. But that may be over soon!

Last night Ben got his feeding tube out! He has been eating well, taking 45-55ml. He is now ad lib on demand so he can eat what he wants when he wants going no longer than four hours between feedings. He has to maintain a minimum amount but so far is doing great. The doctor said he will be able to go home TOMORROW if he keeps it up! Praise God!

Our handsome son without his feeding tube!

Ainsley is doing well, too! It will be interesting to get them on the same schedule once they're both at home. Sabrina - I will be soliciting your advice on this!

Funny story - last night Jeremy was getting ready to feed Ainsley and I was pumping. He came in our room very irritated and asked me "What is Ben eating?"
"Ben?" I asked him.
"Yes, what is Ben eating?"
I said, "Breast milk fortified with Neosure."
"Do we have that?"
"No."
"Oh..." and he walked away.

I asked him about it later when he was more awake and apparently he thought he was feeding Ben instead of Ainsley. Haha! Need. More. Sleep.

I hope everyone is having a good week - tomorrow is Friday!

Monday, November 7th

Thank you to everyone for all the messages, comments, texts, phone calls and thoughts and prayers. I've said it before but we truly appreciate them so much. We are so thankful for all the amazing and supportive people in our lives.

Our world was turned upside down on Saturday by the news of Ben's stroke. We didn't know what to think. But God has held us up. We are moving forward. We can't worry about what might come. We can only love our son unconditionally.

Ben is having quite a few tests to try to determine the cause of his stroke, however, we may never know what happened or when. He just went down for his second MRI to look at the arteries and veins in his neck and head. He had an echo to look at his heart because there are some heart problems that can lead to blood clots that cause strokes. He will eventually have blood tests to check for any issues that may cause clotting abnormalities. I will also have my OB run tests on my blood because I may have a clotting abnormality which could make it likely that any other babies I carry could also be at risk for stroke.

At this point the doctor's are doing everything they need to do to determine what happened but there is nothing "to do" at this point. As he grows and gets older he will be followed closely developmentally to watch for delays. He will follow up with the neurologist. He'll have his eyes examined. He may see a hematologist. He may need physical therapy if there are motor issues such as tightening of muscles on his left side. Right now though Ben's care doesn't change. We are continuing to work on eating with him and as soon as he gets that down he gets to go home. He has taken a couple full bottles and more partial bottles. He can now attempt to bottle six times per day. He is definitely making progress. He seems much more coordinated with his suck/swallow and he is less messy. We still have no idea when he might get to go home but we are quietly hoping for next week.

Check out those chubby little fingers holding his monkey! He is up to 6lbs 9oz!

Ainsley is doing well at home. Though I shouldn't really say "at home" since she still spends most of her time at the hospital with her brother. She is eating and sleeping well and really only fusses when she gets hungry. We are transitioning her back to breast milk from the Alimentum formula and so far no problems.

Doesn't she look just thrilled to be having her picture taken!

Thank you all again for your continued support!

Friday and Saturday, November 4th and 5th

I'm having a hard time starting this post.

I think I mentioned Ben might be having an MRI. His speech therapist recommended it based on his uncoordinated suck and swallow when she watched him bottle feed. Everyone we encountered thought it was just due to prematurity and being a boy and a twin. All those things can delay feeding. So the doctor went ahead and ordered the MRI basically because "Mom and Dad are getting impatient" and he was willing to do it to rule out anything abnormal and help to make us more at ease.

Friday the MRI was scheduled for 6:45pm. It got pushed back to 7:20pm. They were backed up once he and Jeremy got down there and they didn't get done and back to the room until 9:00pm. At that point the transport nurse told us that the technician who performed the MRI wanted to repeat the MRI with contrast in the morning. At this point I felt like something was wrong since they wanted to do more testing. Of course no one could tell us any more information since there was no doctor to read the results.

Just before 7:00am today the doctor called me at home. He asked if anyone had given me the preliminary results from the MRI and I said no. Jeremy had already left to go to work to proctor the SATs so it was just Ainsley and I at home. He told me that he did see that there was a significant difference between the right and left side of Ben's brain. He said he would have a Pediatric Neurologist come to see Ben and look at the MRI and decide what further test were needed and that they would not be doing the MRI with contrast until the neurologist saw him so that he could determine exactly what tests he wanted.

At this point I talked to Jeremy and filled him in on what was happening and then called my mom who was already planning to come up at 8:00am to go with Ainsley and me to the hospital.

I was sobbing and felt like I could throw up.

I literally fell to my knees on my bedroom floor and prayed for my son.

When I arrived at the hospital the doctor came right down and showed me the MRI. It is very clear that there is a large area on the right side of Ben's brain that has been affected. Somehow and at some point blood flow has stopped to that area. He is optimistic because they were surprised by this finding. Ben hasn't had any symptoms of having anything wrong other than not picking up eating very quickly. He hasn't had any seizures which is how babies with this usually present. He also said that babies that are so young are able to recover well from this, much better than you or I would be able to.

This afternoon the pediatric neurologist came to see us. He defined what has happened as a Perinatal Stroke. It could have happened before he was born or after. He said it looked like it had been at least 5-10 days since it had happened. At this point it is impossible to tell what the long term implications will be. It could result in severe motor disability or cerebral palsy or it could have absolutely no repercussions at all. Over half of all infants that survive neonatal stroke are entirely normal at 12 to 18 months.

We have prayed A LOT today. And one of our prayers has already been answered. We of course prayed for peace during this ordeal. That God would give us serenity to deal with whatever may come and help us to be calm so we can be good parents. At some point today an amazing peace has come over me and I KNOW that everything is going to be alright. Our son is perfect.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
Psalm 139:13-18

Thursday, November 3rd

Ainsley had her first appointment with the pediatrician today. It was pretty uneventful and everything went well! She weighed 5lbs 13oz up from 5lbs 8.8oz at her last weight check at the hospital. The doctor is fine with her going back on breast milk in a few days since the blood in her stools has stopped. [Random Thought: Is it weird to read about my kid's poop?] However, the doctor does want me to avoid dairy products. While it seems easy - no milk, cheese, etc - it is actually a lot harder than I thought. There is dairy in everything! I was looking at cereal at the store and the first kind I picked up had dairy in it...in dry cereal! If anyone has any experience with this PLEASE let me know. Of course, Google will also be utilized.

Here is Ainsley after we got home from the doctor.

Ainsley and I went down to the hospital to see Ben before Dad got off work and then he met us down there. Ben is doing alright and we may be starting to see some improvement since they changed him to Enfamil AR. He is now allowed to bottle 4 times per day and when I fed him at 3pm he took 39ml of 50ml. The doctor stopped by this evening and talked to us. He said that a simple change to this formula can sometimes make all the difference in babies who have reflux. However, if Ben isn't taking any full bottles by tomorrow he will probably order an MRI. I honestly don't know exactly what they are looking for so that will be a question for tomorrow. He did say sometimes it takes babies until they are 40 weeks corrected to get the hang of eating. That's November 15th so we are hoping it's a little sooner but we'll wait as long as we have to. Though watching my maternity leave tick by and not having both my babies at home gets harder by the day.

I didn't get any pictures of Ben tonight. I have been a little unfair in the picture taking lately so I'll have to make up for that when Ben gets home - he'll just love me dressing him up and taking his picture I'm sure.

Thank you all for your continued support!

Wedesnday, November 2nd

Today was my first day home with Ainsley and it was A.MA.ZING! It is so nice to be at home but we did miss Ben. We can't wait until he gets home. Dad went down before work and fed him and we came down after and are hanging out through his 9pm feeding. He was changed to formula today with rice to make it thicker. This is supposed to help with reflux. He had his first bottle of it tonight at 6pm and did well. We are hoping this will be the "answer" to his problem of not eating but we'll see.

Ben weighed 6lbs 0.2oz tonight!

Tomorrow Ainsley has her first appointment with the pediatrician. It is at 8:40am and she eats around 9am so Mom's a little nervous about how that is going to work but we'll try to figure something out!

Also, I'm not sure how people figured out this parenting thing before Google! I have used it to look up more things than I can count.

Thank you all for your sweet comments and "likes" on Ainsley's picture last night on Facebook! It is so nice to know we have so many people rooting for us!

Tuesday, November 1st

What a day! The twins are three weeks old today! And Ainsley came home! We kept joking about how we felt like we were stealing her or going to get in trouble for taking her with us. We got her all dressed up in her coming home outfit and then our primary nurse, Leanne had to take her around and "show her off" to everyone before we left. She was pretty stinking cute if you ask me!

Not super psyched about all the pictures Mom was trying to take.

We had a great night at home with her and everything has went very well. It will be so amazing to have them both home. It is just so much more comfortable to be in your own house than at a hospital. I told Jeremy it was so nice to walk around barefoot! It really is the little things.

Ben is still working on eating better. The doctor talked about possibly trying some Prilosec or something for reflux in him if he doesn't start making some improvement. All along everyone has been very nonchalant and told us he'll figure it out eventually but I think they are starting to see that there might be something else going on besides prematurity even if it is just some reflux. We continue to hope and pray that he will pick up the eating soon. I hung his going home outfit where he could see it for a little inspiration!

Love him in his monkey outfit with his monkey Wubbanub!

Monday, October 31st

Ainsley and Benson say "Happy Birthday, Aunt Liasa!"

Ainsley has continued to have very small amounts of blood in her stool. They did an x-ray last night and another one this afternoon which were normal. The doctor thinks she is having irritation from something and he feels it is most likely milk protein. He is putting her on Similac Alimentum formula which has polypeptides instead of proteins so it is easier to digest. He wants her to take that for "a few" days and then we can gradually transition back to breast milk and see how that goes. If she would start to have blood in her stool again it is possible she has a milk allergy. She could still breastfeed but I would have to cut dairy out of my diet. Hopefully we won't have to worry about any of this and we'll restart her on breast milk in a few days without problems. The doctor does still plan on discharging her tomorrow. We are of course excited but it is bittersweet leaving her brother here.

Benson is doing alright. He really hasn't seemed to make progress but also isn't getting any worse. Some feedings go well and others don't. We are still hoping that "the light bulb" will come on soon. We still feel he is refluxing, actually we know he is. You can sometimes see it come up into his mouth during his gavage feedings. However, the nurse told us they won't give them anything for it unless it is documented on a swallow study and Ben happened to NOT reflux during his 5-10 minute swallow study, though he does about every other time. Amy, the speech therapist did not stop by today so hopefully we will get to talk to her tomorrow.

I cannot believe tomorrow is November!

Sunday, October 30th

Happy Halloween from Benson and Ainsley!

Ainsley has had a great day eating! She is now on the last "step" which is ad lib on demand. She has been doing very well and tonight was up to 5lbs 7.7oz! She may not go home tomorrow however because she has had a very small amount of blood in her stool. She has no other signs of any problem but they want to watch and make sure everything is alright. We are just watching her diapers very closely and hoping it resolves on its own. If not we may have to try some formula to see if that is changes anything. She also got her feeding tube out!

Benson has had a good day as well. He did well with his two attempts at bottling today and they are increasing him to 2-3 attempts per day now. Sometimes it goes better than others and we just keep praying it continues to improve. Tonight Ben weighed in at 5lbs 12.8oz!

They got these sweet onesies from Aunt Liasa - they say "Auntie gives the best candy" - so cute!

Great-Grandma Betty got to hold Ainsley for the first time!

And Grandma Barb held Ben for a little while.

Saturday, October 29th

The twins hope everyone had a good Saturday!

They have both had a good day! Ainsley has continued to eat well and the doctor changed her feedings to ad lib every three hours. This means she can eat what she wants on her three hour schedule with a minimum of 40ml. If she does well with this tomorrow he will change her to ad lib on demand meaning she can eat what she wants when she wants and if that goes well tomorrow she could go home Monday. Which seems CRAZY! Even if it isn't Monday she will likely be going home the early to middle part of this next week!

We still don't have any sort of schedule for Benson and are just trying to be patient while he figures this whole eating thing out. I think I mentioned yesterday he is bottling just twice a day this weekend and Amy, the speech therapist, will check with us on Monday to see how it has been going. I think he is making some small gains and will hopefully get there soon.

They both got mobiles for their cribs! They are pretty fun!

Friday, October 28th

Happy Friday!

I'm sure it seems weird how much I look forward to the weekends considering I'm not working right now. The twins and I are just so excited to have Daddy here for two whole days!

The speech therapist, Amy came down today and gave Ben his noon feeding. She tried a silicone nipple to give him a little more pressure on his palate and he seemed to do pretty well. We are going to bottle him 1-2 times per day this weekend and she'll check back with us Monday to see how it's going.

Ben gained weight last night and is now up to 5lbs 7.6oz!

Ainsley has had a good day and the doctor said she will likely be going home by the middle of next week! That is the first time anyone has really estimated when she would be going home so we are really excited for that. Just the fact that she is doing well enough they would even venture a guess is great! In case you are curious, when she does go home it will likely be before Ben goes home. She will be allowed to come back down with us everyday and hang out with her brother. They don't allow children in the NICU but they do make an exception for twins.

Ainsley also gained weight and is now up to 5lbs 4.6oz!

I didn't have my camera handy when Ben was making his cute faces tonight but I did snap a picture of each of them sleeping before we left for the night.

Benson

Ainsley

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Thursday, October 27th

We started this morning with a great report from the overnight nurse! Ainsley had taken two more full bottles! Benson bottled twice and took around 22-23ml each time (out of his 45ml).

AND they both gained weight! Benson is up to 5lbs 6oz and Ainsley is 5lbs 4oz.

Ben had his swallow study this morning. He did very well and didn't cry at all! The speech therapist could see (and showed me) how he isn't using his tongue properly to eat though he does with his pacifier. The underlying question is why this is the case but we might not be able to tell for sure. This afternoon the speech therapist came back with our plan. She is going to bring some different nipples to try tomorrow and watch him as he tries them. She may also show us some "exercises" to do to help improve his feedings.

I took this video today of Ainsley after she ate. She always makes the cutest faces after eating!



Ben makes some pretty darn cute faces too. I'll try to catch him tomorrow.

Yay for tomorrow being Friday!

Wednesday, October 26th

Thank you all for the kind words yesterday. They really mean so much and help us get through!

Today Benson had his car seat test and passed!

Ben will have his swallow study tomorrow at 11:30am. Basically we will go down to radiology and they will give Ben a bottle with barium in it so they can use an x-ray to see how he swallows and hopefully identify any problems. He had a pretty rough feeding this morning at 9:00am. He spit up once during his gavage and seemed to be so uncomfortable while it was going in his tummy. He always seems uncomfortable but this time it was really bad which may have been due to the vitamins they gave him with his feeding. His car seat test was right after his feeding and he spit up as he was being put in his car seat. Since he had the vitamin drops (with iron) it was a lovely shade of green and it got ALL OVER his cute pumpkin outfit! I scrubbed it in the sink with dish soap but then thought that he'll never wear it again - Halloween is this weekend and it certainly won't fit next year - duh, Mom!

Ainsley has done a good job eating today and took full bottles at 6:00am, 9:00am and 6:00pm. I think three full bottles is a new record! She also did good on her partial bottles today, generally leaving only about 8ml.

That's about it for today. I hope everyone had a Happy Humpday!

Tuesday, October 25th

The twins are two weeks old today! That also means they have been in the NICU two weeks. It has been an emotional day hitting that two week milestone here.

The neonatologist backed off Ainsley's feedings to 5 or 6 attempts at bottling per day to allow her to get some more rest and build up more strength. This was definitely a step backward on the trail to getting home which was very hard for us. We understand that there will be setbacks but it doesn't make it any easier when all we want is for our babies to be healthy and come home with us. Hopefully this will allow her to conserve more energy and gain more weight. As of last night she weighed 5lbs 1.4oz so she is back up to her birth weight.

The speech therapist came today to watch Benson eat. He really did a good job of showing her how he usually eats. He will be hungry so he'll take the bottle but then will only take about 5ml to 7ml, of which he seems to spit out about half. Then he'll stop swallowing and start to gag or cough. She also observed him sucking his pacifier which he does VERY well. She said his technique with that is great and if he took his bottle that some way he would be eating well. The question is why is he not wanting to take the bottle. At this point there is the possibility of reflux. Preemies have an increased likelihood of having reflux and the feeding tube holds open the sphincter at the top of his stomach which makes it easier to reflux. So he could be protecting himself from the pain of the reflux. Another possibility is that he is guarding his airway and for some reason is having trouble "getting it down the right tube." So he is going to have a swallow study either tomorrow or Thursday to try to learn more about what exactly he has going on. In the mean time we are doing mostly gavage feedings to avoid making him so uncomfortable. This will also allow him to get more rest and burn fewer calories. As of last night he was up to 5lbs 3.4oz (birth weight was 4lbs 15oz)!

We appreciate all thoughts and prayers as it is becoming harder to deal with having the babies in the NICU. We absolutely cannot wait to have them home. People comment that it will be harder when they're home as we won't have help to care for them. I have to disagree. To me it will be such a relief emotionally to have them at home. It is so draining to worry about them when we leave at night. It will be so much easier to rest during the day when they are resting and we are comfortable at home and not sitting on hard chairs or a bench and there aren't people coming in and out of the room every hour or more. I don't mean to complain but we are wearing out and I guess one of life's lessons is to ask for help when you need it. There isn't much you all can physically do but if you are inclined to pray for us or keep us in your thoughts we would very much appreciate it! Specifically we are praying that Ainsley will continue to grow and gain weight and that will help her to be able to eat better so she can come home. We pray the Benson will do the same and that the staff here will be able to learn from his swallow study so that we can help him to eat more comfortably. And lastly we pray for strength for Mom and Dad that we can be strong for the babies and take care of them the best we can!

After bath time tonight we had a little photo shoot. We HAD to get a couple pictures with the babies in their pumpkin outfits!

 

We love our little pumpkin butts!

 

Monday, October 24th

This weekend went by WAY too fast! The twins and I were so glad to have Daddy here all day with us for a couple days. We miss him when he's at work!

Not too much exciting is happening today...yet, anyway! Both Ainsley and Benson are making small but steady improvements. This morning for their 9am feedings Ainsley took her whole bottle and Ben did a great job of remembering to swallow so he doesn't choke and gag.

Ainsley has also been "practicing" nursing and is doing pretty well. Benson is going to see the speech therapist which sounds funny but she is going to evaluate his swallowing/sucking/bottling technique. We think he may have some reflux going on or some issue that is delaying his bottle feeding. We will hopefully know more about that soon.

I haven't taken ANY pictures today so I apologize there is nothing fun to look at today but I promise I'll get something cute for tomorrow!

I cropped this one and made it black and white. I tried fitting it into a Halloween card to send out but couldn't get it to fit right. Maybe I'll try again tomorrow.

I hope everyone has a great night!

Sunday, October 23rd

We've had a few small successes today! Ainsley had her car seat test. For those of you not familiar with this they put the baby in their car seat and put a monitor on them to watch their oxygen level. They have to sit in their car seat for an hour and maintain an acceptable oxygen level. The GREAT news is she PASSED!

Then she was pretty fussy before her 3:00pm feeding so I decided to try to nurse her for a few minutes just to work on latching and she really took to it! The nurse checked her tummy (using her feeding tube) and she took 12ml. We were pretty darn impressed. Then we thought she would be all tuckered out but she took most of her bottle too (minus the 12 we took out of it that she had already got from nursing).

{Ainsley during her car seat test}

I have been pretty anxious about how difficult it might be to switch them to nursing after they are getting bottles here. Unfortunately it isn't an option to do too much nursing because they are receiving fortified breast milk so they get a few extra calories added to their milk. If anyone has experience with this sort of situation please feel free to email me or send me a message on Facebook.

Benson has had a pretty relaxing day. He is still working on bottle feeding better and we can see that he is making progress. He is better at sucking but still forgets to swallow sometimes and he wears out pretty fast. We are being patient and hoping his sister will tell him what to do soon!

His success actually came last night though when he got weighed and was up to 5lbs! He is now officially over his birth weight of 4lbs 15oz!

{Ben relaxing}

Both babies are periodically spending more time awake either before or after feedings which is a good thing developmentally.

Thank you all for your sweet comments and thoughts and prayers! And how is tomorrow Monday already?! I hope everyone has a good week!

P.S. - We came home last night to these signs in our yard! Thanks, Mom!

Saturday, October 22nd

It has been a good Saturday! Jeremy and I decided to try to get a little extra sleep this morning so we slept until 7:00am...well as much as one can sleep when pumping every three hours! It was much needed! We got down to the hospital about 8:30am and heard a great report about how the babies did overnight. They were both very content and Ainsley bottled well, though not quite the entire amount. Since we have been here she has finished TWO whole bottles! Benson has been doing well too. He still hasn't taken an entire bottle but we can see improvements and he seems to be working on his technique. He isn't leaking as much milk and seems to do better sucking. He likes to get ahead of himself though and forgets to swallow but he will figure it out with time.

Thanks to our nurse, Leanne, we had Hawkeye colors going on today!

Both babies got baths tonight and are smelling wonderful. Ben really hates baths, as well as diaper changes and having his clothes changed or removed. He really just likes to stay wrapped up and snuggly warm! Ainsley seems more laid back and really doesn't mind having her diaper or clothes changed.

Here's Ben and Mommy after his bath.

Here at the hospital they come around with a cart of movies you can check out and watch in your room so we picked one of those and are going to see if we can find some popcorn in the vending machine so we can have a "date night!"

Thank you all for your continued support! We hope you are having a fantastic weekend!


P.S. - I couldn't resist taking a picture of these adorable little toes this morning!

Friday, October 21st

Today was Dad's half day (half furlough day). We were so excited to see him at noon!

The babies have had a pretty relaxing day. Ainsley lost weight last night so we have decided to make sure we aren't pushing them too hard. We are only attempting to feed them by bottle if they are awake when it is time and giving us cues that they want to eat such as rooting or crying. This way they can conserve energy and use the calories they are getting to grow and develop more.

Ben had his feeding tube changed today so we snapped a couple quick pictures of him without that. I don't think he was feeling like a photo shoot though...

He gets those worry lines from his Mom!

We thought Ainsley's hands folded on her chest were picture worthy.

The other exciting thing that happened today was that I went outside, during daylight hours, for the first time in a week! We have been getting up at 4:30am to be here before their 6:00am feeding and I don't go outside again until we leave after their 9:00pm feeding which ends up being after 10:00pm. I was very glad to get a little sunshine and Vitamin D!

While we are doing really well and we are so happy with the progress the babies are making it is still hard to have babies in the NICU. There are many emotional times during the day. We just have to remind ourselves that "this too shall pass." I'm sure we'll look back on this time and think how short it seems but right now it can be quite overwhelming. We appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers - they really do help get us through!

We would like to wish a Happy Birthday to my Grandma Betty and Jeremy's cousin Tiffany!

I hope everyone has a great weekend!