Full disclosure...I'm definitely sharing the highlight reel. I just don't take pictures of the times Cabot is crying to be able to share them with you. And even if I did, I don't feel it would be respectful of his life and his story to share them.
I do however, try to keep it real. So I'll tell you that there have certainly been hard times. While he's definitely grieving less than when we were in China, he still has rough nights where he wakes up crying. He often wants me or Jeremy to put an arm over him and keep it there or hold his hand all night long. I think it makes him feel safe. I hope it does anyway.
He's very...shall we say...particular. He likes to get dressed right away in the morning. I took him downstairs in his pajamas one day and he was so upset about it (so we took him back upstairs and dressed him). He has to have his shoes on when he gets dressed even if we're not going anywhere. He likes to keep them on always. So we let him.
He doesn't cry when he gets hurt. He can run face-first into doors, fall down, bonk his head, even fall down the stairs and he doesn't cry. A few whimpers when he got four shots at the doctor and not a peep when they (unsuccessfully) tried to draw his blood. Is it because crying didn't yield comfort during the first four years of his life? I don't know but my heart aches knowing that could be the reason.
So, yes there are hard times that I'm not sharing and it is definitely not to make it seem like this is easy. I will be the first one to tell you it is not. It's hard. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, it's worth it.
And I'm here to talk about it. If you've followed this journey and you feel it's been laid on your heart to adopt or support adoption in some way, let me know! I'd love to talk with you about it! I'll tell you all about the good, the bad, and the ugly.
