China - Day 9

Today we visited Renmin Park, also called People's Park. It was the first park in Zhengzhou and opened in 1952. But most importantly...it's gorgeous!

A couple gentlemen were practicing calligraphy with water. 

I made everyone pose on this bridge - haha! Except Ben who I think was mad at us at the time.

Then our guide brought us Cabot's passport so we could catch our next flight to Guangzhou. This is when things went a little sideways. We left in plenty of time to get to the airport but it took FOR.EV.ER to get checked in and through security. The kids were whiny and irritable and the adult's patience were wearing thin too. We had to walk approximately 400 miles to our gate and our plane was already boarding. There was no time to get any water and everyone was thirsty after the ultramarathon through the airport. Oh and I forgot to mention not only were we not seated together on the flight, they actually assigned the six of us to six different rows all throughout the plane. We were able to adjust seats so Ainsley could sit by my mom and then Jeremy had to sit with Ben and Cab because they couldn't find two seats together for me to sit with a kid. Cabot made it through most of his first plane ride pretty well but the last 35 minutes were pretty rough.

Cabot's first plane ride!

Then we finally got off the plane, which was 1000 degrees, and Cabot screamed bloody murder ALL through the airport. I mean SCREAMED. I was completely sure someone was going to call security about us kidnapping a child. We were very thankful to get out of the airport and take an air-conditioned van ride to our hotel.

 It took SO long to get checked in and they initially told us there was only one room ready but then they decided to upgrade us to a gigantic suite so we could get into both rooms. #blessed

Ben and Ainsley had to take a bath in the huge tub before bed.

Then when Baba had to take a shower Cabot had to stay RIGHT outside and wait for him to be done. Ultimately he just couldn't stay away from Baba and walked into the shower with his pajamas on. Hahaha.

We all got a GREAT night of sleep. Our beds at our last hotel were VERY hard - we have bruises on our hips from side-sleeping on them - so these soft, comfy beds were ah-mazing.

Thanks everyone for following along on our journey and for all the comments and support. We truly appreciate it!

China - Day 8

Thursday, November 8th

We had some free time this morning so we walked down to a park and enjoyed the beautiful day and fresh air.

Cab let me get close enough for a selfie. 

Family of five!

So much sass.

Mom found a "palm tree."

Dad's got the 7 year old girl poses down!

In the afternoon we went to visit the the Social Welfare Institute (SWI) or orphanage where Cabot lived. When we arrived the orphanage director and some nannies came out and talked to Cab and he recognized them but wouldn't go to them. He was pretty glued to Baba's side (or wanted to be held by Baba) the whole time.

Cab got to hand out suckers to all his friends in his classroom.

Cabot lived in a "simulated foster environment" where a foster mom and dad live in an apartment at the SWI and care for several children. This is his foster mom:

His bed.

They shared a really sweet moment before we left. 

 

The orphanage director wanted us to come with her and the guide while she used our orphanage donation to buy formula for the babies in the orphanage. I think she wanted us to see that the donation was being used appropriately.

There's a good chunk of change in that plastic bag.

Then we headed back to our hotel in Zhengzhou. It was a long, emotional day but I'm so thankful we had to opportunity to see where Cabot spent the first 4.5 years of his life.

China - Day 6 & 7

I'm trying to number the days to keep better track of our trip. A quick recap so I'll remember later:

Day 1 (11/1/18): Leave for China - 6:30am flight to Detroit. Goal was to leave the house by 3:30 (obvi it was a little later). Six hour layover in Detroit then fly Detroit to Beijing.

Day 2 (11/2/18): Land in Beijing around 4pm local time (yes, 4pm the NEXT day). Get through customs (where Ben had a seizure 😢), get luggage and find our guide, Nelson. Take van to hotel. Jeremy walked a couple blocks and got us McDonalds and we all crashed.

Day 3 (11/3/18): Tour Tiananmen Square, the Forbidden City, and the Great Wall of China.

Day 4 (11/4/18): Fly from Beijing to Zhengzhou. Crash by like 7:30 (consequently awake at about 3am the next morning).

Day 5 (11/5/18): Meet Cabot (see Family Day post)!

Which brings us to Day 6 - Tuesday, November 6th. Cabot slept well and didn't act too scared in the morning. We went to the breakfast buffet in the hotel and we learned he LOVES watermelon. We hung out in the hotel all day today because our sightseeing tour was cancelled due to rain. This was definitely not a bad thing and it was nice to have a more relaxed day.

Cabot didn't cry much today but we had several rounds of "the crazies." He gets almost maniacal and runs around the room picking up things and throwing them, he dropped a sucker stick in the air purifier, and laughs hysterically at nothing in particular. We're thinking this is part of how he's coping with his grief and we've heard from some other adoptive parents that their kiddos also reacted this way but it eventually resolves once they feel safe and secure and know they can just be themselves and they'll be loved no matter what.

Cabot gave Baba a kiss!

All the silliness turned to sadness throughout the night. I don't want to share too much about Cabot's grief because it's his story so you won't see any videos or pictures of his really hard times. This isn't intentionally sharing the highlight reel, rather it's about not sharing anything that he may not want shared 10 years down the road. But I also want to try to convey his sadness and the experience.

We've heard many comments about how lucky Cabot is to be joining our family and how happy he'll be and while I'm sure there will be much happiness is his future, right now his entire world has been torn apart. He's been ripped away from everyone he knows and loves. And he's grieving. Like waking up crying - grieving. Body shaking sobs - grieving. Running around like a crazy person because his little brain and body can't put together any other way of processing and handling what's happened to him - grieving.

And that's all okay. We'll do our best to make him feel safe and loved until he DOES feel safe and loved.

That little finger in his mouth!

Day 7 (11/7/18): We started the day by going to the Civil Affairs office to finalize our adoption. Essentially we signed papers when we got Cabot to care for him for 24 hours. During this period, families can change their minds. It's rare, but it happens. But we know this boy is meant to be ours forever so we agreed to love him like we do our biological children and we signed one more paper and that's it - he's ours. Forever and ever.

Next up was the notary office where we signed more papers. Then we came back and had lunch. Then we went to the police station to apply for Cabot's passport. Of note, Cab gets carsick. Like every. single. time. we're in the car. Poor baby.

Ainsley and I made a trip to Walmart for provisions (snacks, pop, and Ziploc bags for more car sickness). We had to take a taxi to the mall - the Walmart is in the basement of the mall - so different than home!

Ainsley's first cab ride.

This is how LOTS of people get around - scooters. It's a MIRACLE that more people don't die with how the scooters and cars dart around each other.

Scooters parked outside the mall!

We boiled water in the room and had noodles for dinner - the food at our hotel is expensive!

Now we're winding down for the night. I just want to add too that Cabot has "attached" to Jeremy. The topics of adoption and attachment go hand-in-hand and it's a good sign that he's attached to one of us. It's also completely normal that it's just one of us for now. He really doesn't want anything to do with me. He cries if I pick him up. Jeremy can't leave the room without him or he'll cry. He clings to Jeremy's finger when we're walking. He raises his sweet little arms for Jeremy to pick him up. They sleep together. He only lets Jeremy feed him. He'll literally push my hand away if I take the fork from Jeremy and try to give him a bite. And while I can't wait to bond with him and hold him and love on him, I'll be as patient as he needs.

Thanks for reading and for all your support, friends!

Family Day!

Today - November 5th, 2018 - was Family Day (aka Gotcha Day)!

We headed out about 9am and arrived at the Civil Affairs office just before 9:30. We did a little paperwork and then waited for Cabot to arrive. The orphanage director and her daughter (who was off school for the day) arrived with him at about 10:35am.

The feeling of seeing him in person for the first time was indescribable. 

He walked in smiling and the orphanage director and our guide told him we are his mom and dad and he immediately came over and hugged Jeremy.

He let me pick him up but he wasn't super psyched about it.

We signed lots of papers and agreed to always love him and take care of him and never abandon him (you actually have to sign a paper saying you won't abandon the child you're adopting). Then the orphanage director told him they were leaving and he was going with us and he was not happy. He made it out to the van with us.

Then he got car sick and stayed glued to Jeremy's side.

We made it home and had to change him right away because of the car sick incident and that upset him so much. I think it just set off his grieving and sadness and he cried so hard. It made momma cry too. I held him and tried to soothe him for probably close to 30 minutes. Finally I gave him to Jeremy to hold and he settled right down.

Eventually they took a little nap together.

My mom and I ventured to the mall/Wal-Mart (Wal-Mart is in the basement of the mall) and got some snacks and then picked up dinner. Cabot was apparently very sad for awhile when we were gone and when we got back he and Jeremy were snuggled up. Jeremy fed him some dinner like a little bird.

He perked up later and had tons of fun running around the room and gathering up things to put in his backpack.

Things we know about Cabot so far:

• He LOVES Jeremy - he'll put up his arms for Jeremy to pick him up but no one else. 
• He's got "Baba" down which means Dad in Mandarin
• He loves water
• He likes to carry around his sippy cup in his mouth
• He likes to carry ALL his toys in his hands
• He's so good at zipping and unzipping his backpack
• He's super good at picking up trash and putting it in the trash can
• He pretend eats with a spoon that was in the room
• He likes to watch cartoons
• He is over all a REALLY happy boy and is quick with a smile
• We love him SO MUCH

A couple side notes. Cabot's Chinese name is Duo Jun so we're calling him both Cabot and Duo Jun at this time. Also, I didn't really proof read this post so I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors.  Thanks everyone for following along!

Cabot's Room

We are so stinking excited to bring Cab home to his room!

 

Jeremy made some bookshelves for Cab's room just like Ben and Ainsley have. 

It took about 12 years for me to get this little collage wall just how I wanted it. 

Consequently there are a LOT of extra holes in the wall. 

Santa brought this little guy for Cab LAST Christmas. So excited for him to finally get it!

We still have puzzle pieces left - if you'd like one click the "donate" button.

Flights Booked!

Our consulate appointment is confirmed and we booked our international flights. We leave for China in 29 days. It seems SO far away right now but it's going to be a very busy 29 days and I'm sure it will fly by.

I wanted to give a brief rundown of what our trip will be like. We'll leave November 1st and return November 16th. After the first five days it's tentative.

Thursday 11/1: Leave Des Moines for Beijing. Total travel time: 21 hours 11 minutes
Friday 11/2: Arrive in Beijing 4:45pm (they're currently 13 hours ahead of us)
Saturday 11/3: Sightseeing in Beijing - Great Wall, Tiananman Square, Forbidden City
Sunday 11/4: Travel to Henan Province where Cabot lives
Monday 11/5: MEET OUR SON!
Tuesday 11/6: Finalize adoption
Wednesday 11/7: Waiting for passport
Thursday 11/8: Waiting for passport
Friday 11/9: Receive passport. Travel to Guangzhou.
Saturday 11/10: Medical exam for Cab
Sunday 11/11: Waiting/sightseeing
Monday 11/12: Waiting/sightseeing
Tuesday 11/13: Appointment at US Consulate
Wednesday 11/14: Waiting
Thursday 11/15: Receive Cabot's visa; take train to Hong Kong
Friday 11/16: Leave Hong Kong for home. Total travel time 30 hours 2 minutes...pray for us.

What we're doing while we wait to leave: I'll be re-reading the "adoption bible" aka Mine in China. We have videos about adoption to watch from our social worker. Make 72 packing lists. Brainstorm ways to entertain 3 kids for 30 hours as we travel home. Pray for ALL the patience in world, for smooth travels, for Cabot to transition to our family as well as possible, for us to be patient and understanding with his grief and to know how best to help him.

We'll also be celebrating Ainsley and Benson's SEVENTH birthday. I'll try to not spend all day crying in the corner. But no promises. Instead of having a big birthday party this year, Ben and Ainsley chose to go to the Ed Sheeren concert in Kansas City so we have that super fun trip coming up.

I also have a work trip the week before we leave. We are SO busy this month which I love but I'm so worried about someone getting sick!

Random thought: It's really kind of hard to buy an entire wardrobe for a 4 year old. Especially one whom you've never seen in person so you're guessing sizes based on height and weight measurements which may or may not be accurate. Add in you only buy clothes on sale or with coupons and it's kind of tricky! But I'm still SO thankful for the opportunity to do it. Even if I have spent eleventy hundred hours of my life on the Old Navy and Target websites recently. ;)

I hope to share Cab's room with you soon - it's SO close to done!

And of course we still have puzzle pieces! If you'd like to buy one go to the Puzzle Fundraiser post where you'll find the PayPal link and as always thank you ALL for your generosity, support, and kindness!